Ranks and Shit

Since so many pple are coming here from the FB SAF Eyepower Division, I decided I should link my FB profile here.

According to Newton's law of gravity, shit always flows downwards. Why down? Because the world sucks, but that's besides the point.

As shit always flows downwards, it has to come from the highest point. High, like the stars. Stars are really high. Don't believe try reaching for them. You can never reach the stars. Being all the way at the top, shit will only flow FROM them, never TO them. They are the safest.


Now let's not talk about what's happening lower down, closer to the ground.

We begin with my favourite rank, the Third Sergeant, or 3SG.

The 3SG insignia comprises 3 downward pointing chevrons. Perfect for collecting shit.

Hence shit tends to end up at the 3SG level.

Below the 3SG is the Private (PTE), Lance Corporal (LCP), Corporal (CPL), and Corporal First Class (CFC). There used to be the Private First Class (PFC), but that isn't given out anymore. Being below the 3SGs who collect the bulk of the shit, these ranks are relatively safe.

For added protection, the LCP and CPL (below) have an umbrella to shield them.


The CFC even better. Double layer umbrella (ella ella eh eh eh).


So what's on top of the 3SG? Why does the shit not get stuck somewhere above instead? Well, on top of the 3SG is the Second Sergeant (2SG).

As you can see, the 2SG has an upward pointing chevron, sometimes referred to as a chimney. I prefer to call it a roof.

Poor 3SG below.

Higher up abit is the First Sergeant (1SG). 2 Chimneys. Even better.


Having 2 chimneys, our dear Santa will soon drop by and leave a present. Open it, and you find a crab! This is how the Staff Sergeant (SSG) comes about.


To prevent the crab from escaping, add 1 more layer to the top and there you have it, Master Sergeant (MSG)!


Now for the warrent officers, namely the Second Warrent Officer (2WO), First Warrent Officer (1WO), Master Warrent Officer (MWO) and Senior Warrent Officer (SWO).

These guys start off with a crab, a bow and an arrow. And as they go up, they gain more arrows. Improved arrowing capabilities. Dangerous!

Well I'm gonna stop here. Don't want to go on for officer ranks. That one leave for the offices to explain their rank structure.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008 10:11 PM by SmYLe =)